Good Bye
by Lorien Lupin
Summary: What crosses your mind when you are beening dump by Sirius Black? Little fic that gets in the mind of a woman who is lossing the love of her live.


_Disclaimer: The character of Sirius, the other names that appear in the fic and the world in which they live are not mine, belong to J. K. Rowling. But Brigitte and the girl without name belong to me._   
_Author's Note: This is the correction number x of this fics, but I think that I'm finally happy with the grammar and the spell… at least I think I am. Enjoy, and let me a review. _   
_Lorien Lupin_

**.oOo.oOo.oOo.**

"**GOOD BYE"**

**.oOo.oOo.oOo.**

I don't believe that you are right; you aren't. How can we be incompatible, what do you mean when you said that our relationship isn't working. You cannot be right, because that would mean that I am losing you, and I don't want to lose you; I am not ready to live without you. What happened with our future together?

You are not right and you know it, but you will maintain your point of view, with the same blind energy that you put in everything that you have already decided. You have always been like this; since school, when on seventh year you notice me and decided that you love me, and although I did not want to be with you and had a boyfriend, you were going to make me love you. It took you almost half of the scholastic year, but in the end, you got what you wanted.

You don't change your mind on things; you never do that; you will not do it this time; not even if I beg or cry. I know you very well, to see me do that would break your heart, but even so, it would not change your mind, so I'm not going to do it.

I want to keep my dignity, being to your eyes the same brave person that you always said to admire. I will be the same brave girl who received with calm, to all the girls who wanted to separate you from me, without ever distrusting of your love.

I understand now, that there must be another reason for this. The ones that you gave me aren't true; but I do not want to know those reasons. You are not the kind of people who would try to hide the things that will make me unhappy. If it were another girl you would not hide it; you would not be in front of me like you are now, speaking of stupidities, like the mutual incompatibility of characters, or your necessity of freedom. You are getting in dangerous things again and you go away so that I could be out of danger and happy.

So I do not want to know the true reasons, I prefer to think that you will be well and that you will be happy, even if it is with somebody else. I prefer to think that is for that reason you're moving away of the life that we planed together.

My heart knows that it is not true; that your reasons to leave, what until yesterday you called the most important part of your life; must be more powerful than another love. That you became jumbled in something dangerous and that you were thinking about me when you decided to go away.

You think that I'm idiot? That I have not seen how weird are your friends and you? You think I do not notice that Brigitte and I are been excluded from all that? That you are pushing us away, that you are worried and distant?

We both know that your speech doesn't deceive me. I know that there is something behind, and you know well that I know it.

My heart intuits it, but my mind doesn't want to know it. I do not want to know it and I prefer to be deceived by a happy image of your life away from me, that image is less painful than the one of you permanent absence from this world.

I would like to be listening to you lie forever. I would like to let you extend this torture forever, only to keep you by my side; but is not human to prolong the agony of something that is dying, not even of a relationship.

I say to you with a glance, that I do not want to hear more. I explain to you with the gestures of my face, that is time for you to leave; and you read in my eyes and my face as you always did, and you say good bye, pretending indifference.

.oOo.oOo.oOo.

You have gone away from my life, and you did it with your head up, with a light walk, the hands in your pockets and not looking back. I turned back, closed the door and I have not wanted to look back either, I would run after you and that would not make you change your mind, it would only humiliate me in front of our neighbours?

My neighbours… my house.

My heart, which remained still through your words, was broken by the idea of this lonely house, of my life without you. The sound of your steps that move away slowly finished to break my spirit and untie my cry.

I wonder if I would ever be able to stop crying?

My heart shouts to me that you were the love of my life, and that will be no other who fills your place; but my brain takes control and although it also hurts the thought that it makes appear, I know that it is the truth.

Everything will be ok, because no pain is forever as strong as it was it in the beginning. In the end all pain of love is surpassed. So I dried my eyes and raised your partially full cup of the coffee table. I gather the rest of our last lunch together in the tray and decide to go to see my friends, I have not visit them in a long time.

I go out the door, I look in the direction in which you have left, and while I walk away in the opposite direction, I say to you in my mind the things I did not say to you some minutes ago. Good bye Sirius, I enjoyed our time together, I spent wonderful years by your side. I hope that you will be happy, and that my fears and suspicions are all false. Keep your self as cheerful and obstinate as you always have been, and look for me when your life stabilises. I want to be your friend, I already said that I cannot imagine my life without you. I will be your friend and confidant. The godmother of your children with another woman if it's necessary; and I will never speak about my previous feelings. You only come back to my life someday and that will be enough to me.

Good bye.

**.oOo.oOo.oOo.**

**The End. **

**.oOo.oOo.oOo.**

_**Author's Note:** Well, I hope that you like it. Please leave some reviews and tell me what you think. Well, kisses for all my beloved readers, especially the ones that leave me a review._

Lorien Lupin 


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